Every so often, we want a change. Things get boring, stagnant, or just plain ordinary. We usually expect the things around us to change. In extreme cases, this is called a midlife crisis. It often doesn't occur to us that maybe we're the ones who should change, not everyone and everything around us.
Here's a simple exercise anyone can do to see themselves in a new light. Write down your answers to these questions and give yourself enough time to think through your responses.
1. What are you? This can be how you see yourself, how others see you, and any roles you play in the world. Don't be afraid to put positive and negative things, but don't put just one or the other. Try to be as honest with yourself as you can. By listing these traits, you're giving yourself a better perspective of yourself currently, and a starting point for the improvements you want to make. For example, I put:
2. What do you want to be? In a perfect world, we'd all be different, right? Everyone has something about themselves they want to change, whether it be physical, psychological or circumstantial. First, I want you to realize that you are absolutely perfect how you are right now. Any changes that you want to make should be for yourself alone, not anyone else around you. These changes should be to improve your wellbeing (for example, have a goal to cut down on high-fat foods in order to reduce your chance of heart disease, not a goal to eat less and get skinny because you want to get a boyfriend). Here's what I wrote down:
Be more forgiving towards others.
Be more loving towards myself, and put myself first.
Exercise more control over eating and exercise habits.
Take myself less seriously, as this can be crippling to someone trying to create music.
Be more calm and thoughtful, and not react immediately and emotionally to things that might upset me.
Notice that everything I wrote was something that would improve my general wellbeing, not anything that I wanted to change so that I would be more accepted by others. Now - you can list physical objects as well. Say you want to get your dream car. That's totally fine! You can work out a savings plan to meet your goal. As long as your goals are for yourself, not for anyone else.
3. Why do you want to be this way? Again, make sure you aren't wanting to change for the wrong reasons. Remember, you're already awesome, you're simply improving your already awesome self. Love yourself, because you're your own #1 fan! If you don't love yourself, no one else will.
Here's an example of what not to write:
I want to change my car because Brittany has a Porsche and I don't.
I want to put $100 per paycheck into a savings account to save up for a new Porsche because I've wanted one since I was a child.
4. What steps do you take in order to make these changes? Time to make a game plan. You didn't think you were just going to keep daydreaming about these things, did you? You're more than capable than making any changes in your life that you need to in order to maintain your goals. If you really want something, you'll find a way to make it work.
- Take night/weekend classes toward going back and getting your B.A.
- Wake up 30 minutes earlier and jog around your block for 10 minutes.
Good luck with your goals, everyone! I'd love to hear about your progress in the comments section below. I'll leave you with some inspirational words.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take." – Wayne Gretzky